Shame on you, those unaware of the awesomeness of Jack Bauer from '24'. For everyone else, we are fully aware that jack Bauer 'pwns' every other character or show on tv. So without further Apu, Here are a few that made me laugh.

more here http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer

"If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice."

"1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight."

"When asked the significance of the number 24, Jack Bauer just points to his crotch and nods."

"Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won."

"In grade school, a little boy punched Kimberly Bauer and Kimberly ran home to tell her dad. That little boy's name? Stephen Hawking"

"Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same thing"

"There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer."

"You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink."

and it continues...

I may get around to submitting a proper entry, hmm, that should be soon. Anyway.

As the great philosopher Eminem once said

"I'm Slim Shady
(I'm Back)... I'm Back... (I'm Back)... I'm Back
That's why they call me Slim Shady
(I'm Back)... I'm Back... (I'm Back)... I'm Back
That's why they call me Slim Shady
(I'm Back)... I'm Back... (I'm Back)... I'm Back
they call me Slim Shady
(I'm Back)... I'm Back... (I'm Back)... I'm Back

Guess who's back?
Gue-gue-guess who's back?
Hi Mom!
Guess who's back?
Gue-gue-guess who's back?
D12
Guess who's back?
Gue-gue-guess who's back?
Dr. Dre
Guess who's back?
Gue-gue-guess who's back?
Slim Shady 2001
Blew out from this blunt
fuck "

This is indeed correct.

I AM BACK!

http://www.veritascaritas.com/music/ost/thewaywewere.asf

 

Live Journal was once graced with loquacious musings....

But it was suddenly seized from our hearts ......and computer monitors

Three months have passed.

And he's back....

 

And this time it's revenge

THE DICKIE HATTS EXPERIENCE

 

COMING

SOON

The Last ever Live Journal

Today is a very sad day, for it is today that will be left mourning the death of the Live Journal, but the Live Journal is still online I hear you type. Oh no my friends, it’s over, as the banality of the pedestrian lives continue to dribble on, the Live Journal will be left with a great vacuous space where once stood the pinnacle of online journalism, the Adonis of writing, the quintessential stud muffin, The Fine and Dandy world of Dickie Hatts, and it’s other incarnation, Richard Hattersley is better than you, speaking volumes for the truth and decency of such journal, is to bow out. It is to fall from the Heavens off its cloud of wonderment, falling gracefully, from your hearts yet never forgotten. The short time it was around it was the most entertaining journal on the Live Journal, although it was never fully exposed so many people missed out, and for shame on them because they could have been apart of something special, but instead they chose not to. I don’t hold a grudge against them at all, oh no, they had missed out on the many hours of work that I have put in to this journal. But the time has come. The Dickie Hatts page will be no more, but let us not feel too downhearted about this, Live Journal life will continue, yet a big void will be felt.

May 5 was the first day of the Fine and Dandy world of Dickie Hatts, and Now July 1^st is the last.

Okay now it is my favourite times of the Live Journal, I must say that my personal favourite entry was on May 19^th, it was titled People, I feel this was my favourite and most personal as it was an actual insight into my thoughts and views, while before and most recently it has been an evolution of flippant and quirky musings and over exaggerated small events, and this particular journal entry spawned a few other entries from other people, so it was pretty influential in that way. Whilst it was all written in serious tone, one line made me laugh when I was reading it back this morning. “Also what gets me is boring people, they are so boring, do something” a statement which has become synonymous with so many people I have encountered over the years, and that really does hit you when you can look back in a retrospective mode.

You can tell a lot about a person by there favourite films, I mean if someone thought Scary Movie 2 was hilarious and has actually bought it on DVD (God forbid) then I would assume that they are devoid of humour and only liking it because of it wanting to fit it. Although we all know that it is soul destroying, and terribly unfunny, but hey what do I know. So here you go some of my favourite films.

Amelie - I absolutely adore this film, it is a truly magical film. An absolutely heartwarming and I would love to recommend it to everyone, but some people do not have the patience, and hold horrid pre conceptions about foreign language films.

Jurassic Park - This was one of my most memorable cinema experiences, from the moment the T-Rex escaped from the compound to the soundtrack, to the majestically fine tuned CGI. No CGI has eclipsed Jurassic Park in my eyes. It is such a formulaic narrative, and it works so well. I hold much love for it from childhood memories, I have watched this film well into double figures.

The Elephant Man - You know, I could have filled this all up with David Lynch, I believe he is the greatest living film maker working today. Elephant Man is a perfect example of just how great he is. Putting the story aside for the moment, the whole atmosphere and feel of the film is enough to make this a tremendous film, very much the same feel of Eraserhead, very idiosyncratic, but it is even better as it is such a touching story. The ending is the reason why I will always associate Adagio for Strings with this film than Platoon, the reason, although it is not as iconic in the sense of Platoon, I couldn’t imagine any other music with such subject matter that could break my heart while watching it.

Brazil -Brazil is so unique in the sense that within watching five minutes of it I had already made it one of my favourite films. Terry Gilliam is such visionary and this film shows it, it is so imaginative. It’s the surreal nature of the film, absolutely wonderful.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail - I could have chose everything that Monty Python had ever done. They are one of the biggest influences to me, and this is the funniest film ever made, only rivaled by their other films. Everything about it, from the title sequence, “My sister was bit by a moose” to Tim the Enchanter. It is brilliant, so quirky and silly. I could spend all day just quoting this film, and still be laughing, in fact many times I have been. I’m so glad that I was introduced to Monty Python at such a young age, and I will never forget the moment I met Michael Palin, the only time I have ever been star struck.

Special mention also to this little gem, I think this song says it all.

http://www.cindisplace.com/music/Celine-BeautyAndTheBeast.mp3

 

Five top films there, there are loads more I would recommend of recent times anything by Lynch, Charlie Kaufman (my favourite is Adaptation), Paul Thomas Anderson (especially Magnolia) oh I could go on, and on.

Secret that is not so much of a secret: I am a big wrestling fan, not so much as I was, but I hold so many cherished memories of it from my childhood. With my Hulk Hogan toys wrestling, pretending to commentate, ah memories. Little none fact that is, went to watch it many times as well. How about this for impressive ladies, about 5 years ago I could name every world champion, not anymore.

Last night was the “Mangotsfield Leavers do” (Huzzah I don’t have to see any of you banal bastards ever again!!!!! with some exceptions *cough* Jack)

- Notable happenings for me personally.

-badgering a drink off Smithy and Bristow kindly bought me one as well.

- Head teacher inviting me back in a couple of years to have a tour of the school and have my own assembly and when I have a lot of money if I could give a grant to the school.

- Mrs. Bird telling me how much that she will miss me not being around and that one day that I will be famous, and then she proceeded to tell people that, calling me over so she could say that to others. (surprisingly she wasn’t drunk)

- I knew that Mike ‘Witty’ Whitton had links with the BBC so he is going to get me contacts from there. Oh Yeah.

- Me and Jason discussing are Conservative, views and that we should go fox hunting, and anyone who knows Jason, knows that he doesn't joke about things like that

Although the buffet was such a small amount even a staving African child would have asked if they were taking the piss.

My favourite songs time. Now I have been putting MP3s up everyday since the day I said I would and today will be no exception, the exception I adore these songs, there would be more but I can’t find them so these are just some of the songs which I love. Here it goes….

AS you all know my favourite band of all times is the Beach Boys, and one of my favourite songs which they did was, Surfer Girl. I, like loads of people, including Brian Wilson was blown away by Paul Simon’s version of the song, he slightly changed the arrangement of the song, and it is as good as ever.

http://www.matkoworld.com/mp3/ps_sgirl.mp3

Well I was looking for Don’t worry baby, and I got the jackpot, look at all these Beach Boys songs, oh dear god, I could explode. Well pay special mention to Don’t Worry Baby as that is the song in question, but looking up the list they are all my favourites. I can stress enough for you people to buy Pet Sounds, all the emotion of growing up in that one album it is brilliant.

http://www.100megsfree4.com/bluerose/beachboys.html

Ahhhhh Wonderful Tonight, I adore this song so much. This version has a long opening, so please give it time as I love this song. I don’t know why but I feel all tingly and pretty emotional while listening to this song, I don’t have any reason to, but it’s so beautiful.

http://barney.gonzaga.edu/~ljones4/ericclaptonwonderfultonightbestversionever.mp3

While we are still on Eric Clapton, Tears in Heaven is also one of my favourite tracks and an incredibly emotive song

http://www.edu.cn/20011207/3013266.shtml

It’s Phil Collin’s version, I really like Eva Cassidy’s version, but this is the version I first heard, so this the one I will post, it has nothing to do with the fact I can’t find Eva Cassidy’s cover.

http://www.cindisplace.com/music/PhilCollins-TrueColors.mp3

 

So now we come to an end of an era. Thanking you all for your reading over the couple of months, most of the time giving me motivation to continue writing. And for that I thank you, but now it is stopping for good, a closed sign going up on the door. So as I will no longer have a primary role in your lives please let me spend this time to wish you luck in what ever you choose to do with your life, but never settle for second best. You only have one chance of getting first.

A thought came to me the other day, what if I was to become successful, would I remember any of you. The sad answer is that I probably won’t, which is a sad thought, but no doubt I would if I had power in some capacity I would gain some sort of revenge, but i wish that not to be the event, but i guess it is inevitable

I know it is an upsetting state of affairs at the closure of this Live Journal, so perhaps this song may be best to sum up the whole event and all of our sentiments.

http://www.cindisplace.com/music/Lonestar-ImAlreadyThere.mp3

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it, but don't be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends

(I cannot take credit for quotations above, it’s two fused together.)

So with that it is Goodbye, never forget….

For the last time

Love

Richard Hattersley

The Premise: So when I was told that I owed my parents £20, I didn’t think much of it, I mean £20 is hardly anything. So I just paid up, and didn’t think at all about it. Then the revelation happened. The £20 was in fact a ticket to watch Peter Andre in concert, yes THE Peter Andre, LIVE. Oh my excitement, I get the feeling that I was told, and perhaps it did seem like a good idea at the time, at the time it did.

So let me take you all on a journey, and you too can enjoy and relive the adventure with me, on this very special edition of my Live Journal, this especially special edition, but that will come at the climax, its worth waiting for. Oh it sure is.

The Show: So here we go, I showered and got myself all pretty, for those fashion fans out there I wore I black jumper, faded flared jeans, and brown shoes. So off on the journey. I have to admit at this time I was pretty much dreading the whole festivities, Peter Andre is not exactly my cup of tea. I imagine he is a jolly nice chap, but you know.

So I take my seat in he balcony, I guess it was fate to be sitting in the balcony, if it all became too much I could always jump…..

So as we arrive I do notice an awful lot of those from the female sex, oh right, it would appear that the majority was about 10, yep 10, Although when I was pushing to the front I get the impression they were all checking me out…..

So like usual the seats the Colston Hall are likened to having a hemorrhoid, but that didn’t matter. The word on the street, from the ’celebrity security’ is that none other than JORDON is in attendance this evening. Yes the actual person.

So a game of Where’s Wally was always on the cards to be played.

Alas, while waiting for the man himself to take the stage, I read a sticker, crudely stuck to the balcony saying that those in front row balcony couldn’t stand, or dance for safety reasons. So there we have it, no dancing for me this evening. You could probably imagine my reaction, I was (ahem) insania…..oh come on…

So I sat down in the Colston Hall seat, which is likened to having a hemorrhoid. But that didn’t matter, The Peter Andre was to come on stage.

The lights went out. All the 10 year old girls started to scream, for once that reaction was not because of me.

A typical cheesy radio presenter voice came over the sound system. And it went a little like this.

“*fake laugh* Bristol….Before Peter comes on stage, please give a warm Bristol welcome to 24/7 who I am sure will be very big soon”

At that comment I wasn’t sure whether to take this thing serious.

They ran on the stage with gusto, pounding straight into their first assault. These were another typical pseudo Busted group. Except for, there was four members, one was Asian, one was pumped up and one didn’t play a guitar.

Yep he didn’t play a guitar, and neither was he the lead singer. He was the weak link, and thus my favourite in the group. All he did was run around the stage like a prat. To make up for the fact that he couldn’t play a guitar, he would try and bounce around the stage, at one point the attempted a roly poly, but instead he fell over, he tried to make it look like he was attempting to make a bloody fool of himself, by striking a pose to the audience. He done this throughout, just being irritating, it makes me wonder if he was actually part of the group, if he didn’t just turn up on that day, smuggle himself through with a create of Peter Andre baby oil. But strangely he was a member of the group, what on earth is happening, how can someone with so little talent be on such a stage of dreams, like that of the Colston Hall. The mind boggles.

Throughout their set they did a lot of pointing to the audience which I liked.

One of the members, lead guitarist/lead singer had his shirt unbuttoned to reveal his rather un - toned physique, and I said bless him (reminiscent of a girl from mangotsfield who was saying that this morning, I wanted to pound her face with the toaster, she just went on, and on)

One of their songs that I can remember had a chorus that went a little something like this.

“European girls I know are mine, Japanese girls do it every hour, but American girls are really fine….”

At one point they changed the lyric to Bristol girls are really fine, I laughed at that point.

They were on for a good half hour, I saw good, they were alright actually, playing their catalogue of hits…..they thanked us, the girls screamed. I mean at the mere mention of Peter Andre they were at one point close to exploding with sheer pent up gun powdered fueled ecstasy.

Then we were treated to two Australian girls, “singing”, they were basically a poor man’s Mystique. They went through their routine, the funniest part was when they introduced the second song and it sounded exactly the same as the first song, and the third song for that matter. They shimmyed all around the stage, in a drunken cheapness of a mandrake party way, with a little more class. Well what I am trying to say is that the dance routines were that of a wet fish, wet and fishy. I don’t even know what that is suppose to mean. They had white puffer coats on, I thought I had stumbled upon page park for the moment there, they could have had white lightning in one hand, and a fag in the other hand, and swearing like the park dwellers do. Although they didn’t and I am glad for it. Those people shouldn’t grace the fine stage of Colston Hall, the years of history all represented by those slates of wood. For God’s sake the likes of Yokozuna and Earthquake have wrestled there!!!!!!!!! During their routine I clapped with vigor, then looked at my watch.

They went off waving and such and that brings us to the interval, we were reminded that up next was Peter Andre, the time at this point was 8.15.

So for the interval, I pondered where Jordon was, no doubt in Peter Andre’s dressing room, having a good rodgering. (side note the spell check of rodgering is Rod Gering, what a name, interesting.)

After the interval, which was longer than the ten minutes they mockingly told us, you could feel the pre adolescent stench of womanhood in the air. You could smell it, taste it even, something special was in the air, mega superstar Peter Andre was about to grace us with his presence. The lights went out, I was looking over to the side balcony to the right of the stage, yep a lady in white (irony) came out of the doors from the backstage, with big mammeries. Yes it must have been Jordon, she was there, hiding away from the public.

The band started to play ‘Flava’, that Peter Andre hit, you know not Mysterious girl, oh right that’s the only one you know. Well flava was a hit in the 90s. He was wearing some oversized basketball jersey, and some combat like trousers.

There is something about the society which we live in now, something which I find quite funny about the nostalgia loving, post ironic society that we have become. If Peter Andre can build up this fission from an audience, then surely nostalgia would tell us that even Hitler has a chance of a return to the spotlight, with the obvious exception that he is dead, if he was to star in a celebrity reality TV show, he would be big, the post ironic nostalgia towards him would be mega. Remember when you use to have posters of him on your wall, kissing his abs every night before you go asleep. I could see his return now, his return to Nuremberg, screaming girls, with flags and whistles, like when the Beatles first went to America, and before we know it the Third Reich would return, and look where we would be, debating whether it is the third or fourth Reich. Although none of that would happen but you get my point about it, if you are away for awhile and then come back into the publics life you are sure to have some effect of nostalgia and post irony, mums and dads nudging their child, in 96 I used to dance like him. Obviously they wouldn’t say that about Hitler, I don’t know they might, didn’t really know if he was a dancer, but there you have it.

OmiGod!!!!!!! It’s Peter Andre.

Dancing like it was still 1996, doing the hangman, this kid is better than that copying bastard Michael Jackson, if you don’t believe me why are their dance moves so similar. Hey, point proven. Thieving, pedophilic bastard. He was moving all about the stage, moon walking and such. He was really serious about his music, surprising really. The kids were loving it, screaming themselves to epileptic fits.

Peter Andre sung an unplugged version of hotel California (sic) with his chubbier balding brother Chris on the guitar. That was for all you eagles fans, myself, my favourite Eagles track is of course desperado, I love that track it is brilliant, absolutely brilliant, but they sung hotel California, which was good.

Pete, used this time to change, bless.

Another highlight was when Petey baby, got a member of the audience to sing a duet with him. A song off his new album, didn’t think anyone had bought it, but maybe they had.

A security guard had to go and pick someone, he picked a 12 year girl, awful shame it wasn’t Jordon, ah well. So when the security guard lifted the girl on to the stage, she clambered on, and the security guard gave her a tap on the backside, well, I’ve seen it all now, in public as well. Either the girl didn’t know the words or she was nervous, she only sung the chorus. The song was called Never going to give you up, I thought that was a song by Rick Astley, I was wrong. I thought he was going to break into the Astley version, putting the shades on and doing the clicking routine. Didn’t happen, instead Andre chose for the usual sing a song to an audience member routine, hugging and wrapping him self around her like a sweaty bear.

He sung a latino type song, trying to Ricky Martin as he mentioned, shaking his bottom to the audience, teasing showing off his body, which isn’t as well toned anymore, oh I was screaming in my best girlish voice, ooooooooh peter show us your abs…..he took off his jersey and the girls scream, I wonder if I’d have the same effect with 10 year old girls. No that’s not fair, I was screaming too. Not to be fair to him it wasn’t just 10 year old girls.

I didn’t get that suicidal feeling which you’d think would accompany such event. Well he isn’t H from Steps, I think that is a plus for anyone really, I think if ever I join a dating agency I would use that line, well I am not H from steps, that would be a relief. I was actually enjoying it *hides for cover* ahhh fuck you, screw you mate, I paid money for it, I have to have that sense of enjoyment for my moneys worth.

He had this new dance, yes different to the Mysterious Girl splash water, gyrating with the arms going in a circular motion vertically. Yeh you know the one. Yes the new one, the jazzy restrained kick, and it is exactly that, sliding body and leg one way to the direction of the hand. Like a constant side pass. Joyrious!!!!!

So he sung his set, including AlrightAlnight, (is that the name????) um, I’m so lonely or something like that, oh a Jackson 5 song, and a couple others, you’d know ’em.

So that was the show, he ran off, the crowd cheered, I gave a woot, just coz I wanted to, and what would you know it he returned. To sing that special song which we all had been waiting for with baited breath. MYSTERIOUS GIRL. Oh believe me I was singing along, even doing that peter andre dance, albeit sat down, and hid away, I was doing it joking aside, the arms waving. He was working the crowd. A surge of little girls surged foreward touching his hand, and bottom. It was like the second coming of Jesus, it’s a Miracle, I think I heard what scream, bowing to are Lord and Holyness Peter Andre. Singing Mysterious Girl and looking up at the lovely Katie Price.

He returned in his jungle uniform, and sung Insania, oh the simplicity of the music, he thanked us all, not individually, we’d be there all night if that was true. The man was the second chance was back, he seemed humbled, well I guess he would, he was no where 12 months ago, with the truth that you can make it and so forth, he said about how great the public are, supporting him, no matter what the media had said, saying he’s a has been, yadda yadda yadda, it finished. I piled past the kids, knowing that if there was a brawl I felt confident I could win, well put up a good fight.

Venders outside selling posters, shirts ect….didn’t want a poster…..

And that was the Peter Andre concert, a concert more enjoyable than you would think, the nostalgia and sense of post irony was a main factor, like Pat Sharpe and peter Stringfellow and even Michael Winner they are celebrities who we must have a special place in our hearts for them, for just trying and being there. The kids enjoyed themselves and that’s the main thing, fair play to him.

So that’s the review well done Mr Andre you done very well.

REVELATION:

http://survivor.cse.cuhk.edu.hk/~cslui/frank_20sinatra_20-_20my_20way.mp3

Yes this is the end, our ties are to be broken, as this is the penultimate edition of my Live Journal, the breaking of the Fellowship. This time it is no idle threat, no random change of mood. At the end of this week I will be going on holiday, and from then on my Journal will bow out in true grace. It may have been fun for a while, but I have nothing left to say, I may do one day, but it is also finishing for reasons that I am not to discuss in this revelation. I hope you all have enjoyed my journal, it was written in such a way to provide humour and entertainment, but I have decided to close the curtain on it now. So for many this is, in many respects, Goodbye. I wish not to dwell on that factor now, but it is the raw truth. So with my kindest regards for almost the last time.

Richard

From the Writer that brought you 'The Elton John Thrillogy'

 

http://www.sevenworlds.net/sw/root/covers/audio/peter_andre_-_message_to_my_girl_cover.mp3

 

The REVIEW.....

 

Coming.........

 

SOON.

JACK

Here is your remaining schedule for your exams.

Tomorrow

FILM STUDIES P.M 13.30

2 hours

TUESDAY

DRAMA P.M 13.30

2 1/2 hours


That is all, so as we are on a school theme, this mp3 may bring back memories, especially to those who was in my school year.

http://ben.clarke.free.fr/downloads/music/LR-1989-ThroughTheDragonsEye.mp3

I have decided in this short respite after my first exam to log another entry into the journal of my life. My first exam went pretty well, and I managed to gret back in that exam mood, and what an enjoyable romp it was. After the influx of questions after my last entry, I have decided to write another entry, basically as a bridge until I decide to go and look over my pre released material for English.

Recently I have been watching The Day Today, this programme is the pinnacle of comedy, the feeling i get when I watch Monty Python, this is truely an incredible achievement, and urge you all to buy a copy of the dvd, this is the funniest show perhaps of all time. Yes Jack much more funnier than Family guy.

Okay here is a transcript from the first episode, oh it is just perfect comedy, and satire at its best. Chris Morris plays a Jeremy Paxman like character. So here is two transcripts, and if you don't buy the dvd, I will sexual harrass you. So be warned!!!!!!!! (look how many exclamation marks, I mean business)

MORRIS: Tomorrow sees the opening of the London Jam Festival, selling pots of jam, some made by celebrities, to raise money for the homeless. With me is one of the organisers, Janet Breen. Janet, good to see you - this must have taken a heck of a lot of organising.

BREEN: Yes it has, actually, to get all the celebrities to contribute their jam has really been quite an operation.

MORRIS: How much of your time did you put into it?

BREEN: Oh, I would say at least six months.

MORRIS: Six months! To raise money for a jam festival? Isn't that rather stupid?

BREEN: [Surprised] No I don't think so, it's all in a good cause.

MORRIS: A good cause, yeah, but how much are you going to raise?

BREEN: We hope to raise at least fifteen hundred pounds.

MORRIS: Fifteen hundred pounds?!? That's a pathetic amount of money! You could raise more money by auctioning dogs!

BREEN: Well I don't think so, I, I, I think it's all in a good cause and very worthwhile-

MORRIS: You persuaded these celebrities to waste their time donating to it?

BREEN: Yes-

MORRIS: Well, who?

BREEN: Er, Glenys Kinnock we've got, and Sebastian Coe-

MORRIS: I hate Sebastian Coe!

BREEN: [Getting upset] Well I feel he's made a very worthwhile contribution-

MORRIS: What, to the paltry sum of fifteen hundred pounds?

BREEN: Yes!

MORRIS: Is that worth six months of your time?

BREEN: Well I think it is-

MORRIS: I don't think it is at all! I think the only reason you've done it is to make yourself look important! How dare you come on this programme and say "Hey look at me, I'm raising fifteen hundred pounds for the homeless"! You could make more money sitting outside a tube station with your hat on the ground even if you were twice as ugly as you are, which is very ugly indeed!

[Breen breaks down in tears. Morris adopts a low, sympathetic voice.]

MORRIS: Has this been upsetting for you? Have you anything else to say in your defence?

[Breen shakes her head. Morris turns back to the camera]

MORRIS: Janet Breen, thank you!

VOICEOVER: Ultra news!

MORRIS: Now comments from you the public in 'Speak Your Brains'.



and also read this hilarious (clutching sides) transcript

MORRIS: Gay desk now, from Colin Poppshed.
POPPSHED: Thanks, Chris. Quick roundup of today's gayness, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48(M), they're all gay as of midnight tonight. The gay elements are potassium, zinc, hydrogen, copper and argon. Quick look at the world's walls - the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall Of China, that's not gay, and the Old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next, they're the same as last night - all Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985, they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally, the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. Chris.
MORRIS: Thanks, Colin. He's not gay, by the way - we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

Brilliant, brilliant. here's the link http://play.com/play247.asp?page=title&r=R2&title=146110 or http://www10.cd-wow.com/detail_results_2.php?product_code=10773 which is cheaper, also cds are cheap there in general.

Well that's all I have to say today. Sorry nothing worth mentioning at all today, but I'm planning on revising, last minute cramming.

Oh and here is the mp3 of the day, my favourite music soundtrack from one of my fave films, oh i could get teary listening to it, magical.

http://zone.nintendo.free.fr/mp3/Jurassic_Park.mp3

oh and isn't it funny how people communicate by noises, mmmmwehhh, or something like that. what did you think of that? mwwwhhhhheeh

I shake my head in disbelief

Hello, let me introduce myself, my name is Richard Hattersley. I am aged 18, and will be celebrating my 19th birthday on September 4th. I am an affable person, and try to practie this as much as possible. I really like the Beach Boys and enjoy anything which is surreal, or just plain silly. I have been described as quirky, and the classic quote from my tutor, "When I took over the group in year 9, Rich and Jack were quirky then and they are quirky now" and also "The thing that I can never work out with Rich, is whether he is deadly serious, or if he is just taking the michael."

I usually wear the same sort of clothing, I just bu in bulk, if I like something, I will buy in bulk, so I may come out from Burtons with bags of the same item. One of my many reasons for doing this, is if there was ever an action figure made of me, they'd know what it would wear. Black jumper, jeans, white sneakers. Another reason, it eliminates the decision in the morning as to what to wear.

I can get deeply competative, with me always wanting to be the brightest, wittiest, funniest etc.... but deep down a very shy person, but that is hid away. Perhaps comedy a defense against people knowing me.

I eat, drink and breath.

I don't really expose any real facts about myself, well not all he time.

I would be happy if every one I meet would think that I am just a nice funny guy.

In many respects I am very egotistical, yet in many other respects negative. I am a family person over friends.

I have alwasy kept my head down and worked hard, which is a pretty good ethos to go by.

So now is the chance. As I regrettably announce that I will not be postinng a proper Live Journal entry for a while, due to exams, this seemed like quite an enjoyable option, and saves from several more banal questionnaires. It is exactly what it says on the tin, you ask me any qwuestion and I will try and answer it, there is no limit on the questions, and I will do my absolute upmost to give a frank answer to each question.

So write away your questions, and i will do my best to answer them.

See you all soon,

Keep well, safe and good.

Lots of love

Richard